My love, my soulmate, my best friend is gone. I am heartbroken and cannot stop crying.

She was stable for a long time and her health deteriorated fast on her last day on Earth. Her heart and spirit were strong, but the breathing became laboured and fast. I did not want her to suffer.
She was given oxygen to stabilize her, she purred and cuddled with me and then I made the hardest decision ever. She fell asleep being kissed and petted by me and Joakim, calmly in my arms after the medical help from a kind veterinary.
I am broken. A part of me has died.
I was lucky to have met her, not many are blessed with such a connection with an another living being in their lifetime.
10 years for far too short, but I loved her and was loved back every day during that time and I believe she had a good life.
This is the last picture I took of her, two days before she died. She was lying in a cuddly blanket in one of her favourite spots, I played with her and Albert with the Christmas decorations. She was the Queen until the end.
I am heartbroken. I feel physical pain in my chest. I miss her and love her forever. Forever in my heart. My Jossan.

20 comments on “Heartbroken

  1. Oh ….. I am SO sorry and so sad! I understand that physical pain you feel and it is so hard to get it to go away. I have also been in your situation with one of my jet black cats (aged 17yrs) many years ago. Words …. are not enough Jelena, especially after your wonderful news with Leroy. Have my love … and I will send you Reiki too if you would like it … hugs and kisses … from me the Brit in Portugal !

    ❤ ❤ ❤

  2. ❤ it's so hard to have to accept that she is gone – tears are running through my face whilst I tell her wonderful daughter Nora that her mummy is a now new star in cat heaven. ❤ I will always be thankful for Jossans gift to me: Her lovely daughter Eleonora. Jossan was an outstanding personality and I am glad and grateful that I met her personally ❤ I wish you strength, Jelena, in this hard, sad time ❤ hugs from Eleonora/ Nora and me ❤

  3. I am so very sorry for the loss of your feline family member. You gave her a wonderful life but it still sucks so much (wish cats would the life span of parrots or turtles). I hope you will find parts of her with her kittens and grand kittens. Cuddle your siamese tribe as I am sure they miss and mourn the loss of her in thier own way.

  4. I am so sad to hear this. She was herself through these difficult last two years and she is so beautiful to look at on the photo. As you say, a real queen. Sadly, over the weekend, I learnt of another regal blog cat loosing the battle and that too made me feel sadness for the loss and real feeling for the humans left behind. Just such a special friendship and magical bond. All my best thoughts for you all. xx

    • Thank you so much. It is a comforting thought for me that she was well until the end, we did all we could. And I did what I felt was right at the end. She did not suffer. ❤

  5. Dearest Jelena, I start to cry. When you get to know this amazing one of a kind cats you think it is impossible. I did not want to write to you before because our dearest Alice had the same problem and died 8 years old. They look like images of each others. I don’t think we ever felt so sorry in our life.

    ( But by now with our middle aged boys 10 and 11 the siames life goes on. And I can also say they don’t exchange each other, but Morris who we would not have bought otherwise I love so dearly I walk the moon for him.. I it just so hard that they don’t stay as long as us…)

    • Thank you ❤ It still feels har to believe she is gone. I cry often and I miss her so much that it hurts physically. I get some strength from Albert and our other cats. they do not replace her, but they also love me and I love them. ❤

  6. Poor Jossan.
    I am so sorry to hear this extremely sad news. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Jossans loved ones.
    Much love. XxxxX

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